What words?
Psalm 19:14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Proverbs 10:19 Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. (This means that when we speak carelessly it ends in sin, but the wise person keep his mouth shut)
Beloveds, today I want us to really take a deep look at the words that come out of our mouths. Firstly, do we glorify God in what comes from our mouths and secondly, do we build or destroy people with our words?
Many times we can lose the plot when it comes to watching our mouths. Anger can so easily take hold of our hearts and before we know it we say things that are very destructive to the person at the receiving end.
What do we do when our hearts are overwhelmed or when we are triggered by something someone has said or done? Do we choose to behave or do we just let rip and lose control over our mouths?
Let’s really weigh our hearts today and let’s be real with ourselves about what our “default setting” (our usual way of response) is towards things that offend us.
Years ago, I had quite a wake-up call when I realized how much toxidity came from my mouth when I was offended by someone or something. I felt the Lord prompt me to listen to what I was saying when I was triggered. That’s when I realized how much pain I could cause others.
It was then that the Lord spoke to me and said that to be an example to others and to make a difference in this world for the kingdom of Heaven, I have to “look” (behave) different than the world. I was actually convicted in my heart by how I was displaying God every time I lashed out and by the way I reacted when I was offended. I read that scripture in Isaiah 60:21 Then all your people will be righteous and they will possess the land forever. They are the shoot I have planted, the work of my hands, for the display of my splendor.
This was a turning point in my life. I decided that, no matter how hurt or offended I was in the moment, to have the Lord in mind. For His name sake, I will behave myself and I will quickly run to Him with the pain that was triggered. I have decided to first go and report to Him everything that was in my heart before defiling others with the ugly that wanted to come out of me. I usually say to the people I deal with, “Go and unload to the Lord everything that is in your heart. Tell Him exactly what you are feeling about the offence and what you are feeling about the person, even though He already knows. Don’t harm the one that offended you by lashing out and don’t gossip about them either. Move in the opposite spirit.”
How do we move in the opposite spirit? Well, if the person’s words that offended you felt like an attack, don’t attack them back. Keep your side clean. Like the second scripture at the beginning of this post reads, “the wise holds their tongue.” By holding your tongue you won’t say things that you will regret. You want Jesus to help you, and you don’t want to make it worse by using the enemy’s strategies that can harm both of you. The more you respond from that place of pain, (the devil’s way) the more you give him right to ruffle your feathers and keep poking at your pain.
I would really like to encourage you to keep in mind something that my husband always says – OFFENSE IS TAKEN NOT GIVEN! What does this mean? If you are offended by someone, the problem is NOT them, the problem is with you. Listen carefully, you can either take the lie that the enemy is trying to tell you or you can reject it. If you struggle to shake it off, you can be sure that the devil has a hold over you; he has something on you. Usually this means that there is pain that you haven’t overcome yet and the devil will use it to scratch you. It is often due to rejection or some self worth issue. When you have unresolved issues the devil knows exactly how to push your buttons so that you fall into his trap.
What is the trap? He uses your negative response to break the other person down. The devil doesn’t always use his demons to come against us, he manipulates us by using our unresolved pain an issues so that we destroy each other. We become tools in his hands and we carry out his assignments to destroy people. If we respond by breaking that person down, the enemy’s plans for destruction have been excecuted on them and you by you.
Why do I say the enemy will destroy you too? Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” I have seen in my life that when I have accused people of certain things, how that very thing has come back against me. Sometimes it takes hours, days or even years. Usually, I was not guilty of the accusation, but I was guilty because I had judged someone in the same way. This is why you run to Jesus immediately with your offenese and you ask Him to help you with the anger and judgment you have in your heart against that person. Involve Him in everything: the good, the bad and the ugly. With Him, there is safety! Most importantly, stay in repentance and ask forgiveness for wanting to fight the devil’s way.
While I was still working through my self-worth issues, and struggling with weight issues as well. I tried diets, eating right; I did everything exactly the way I should, but my weight did not come down. So, as the devil knew how to scratch me and at my lowest point, he came in to bring destruction. By this time, by God’s grace, I had learned to keep my mouth shut.
Here’s what had happened: My husband and I were discussing having a third child. He argued that we should wait because I was not healthy enough. As He said it I heard the Lord’s voice saying, “don’t take the lie”. What I heard from my husband was, “no we can’t have a baby because you are too fat!” (I heard through the filter of my unresolved pain, not what he was actually saying). Even after the Lord said not to take the lie, I was weak and I took the lie even though I did not try to protect my broken heart by lashing out at my husband. I immediately left the room and ran to Jesus with my broken heart. I had to wrestle with God to get this lie out of me; it took a few weeks. Most of all I had to disconnect my husband from the lie that I believed. I had to work at that which triggered me, forgive my husband and choose to believe that he was not my enemy. After about two weeks, I spoke to my husband about that incident. His response was that because I had been struggling with recurring bronchitis for the last three years, my health should recover before we took the risk. It had nothing to do with my weight and I realized that this was the truth. His intentions were pure. Because the enemy had something on me (my unresolved weight issues) he twisted my husbands words so that we could destroy each other, but because I kept my tongue and ran to Jesus; God could immediately intervene and save both of us from destruction.
Beloveds, are we mindful of displaying God’s splendor in every situation in our lives and are we mindful of the hearts of the people around us?
I don’t know about you, but I want to honor the Lord in everything I do. Yes, we mess up and then we ask forgiveness and we try again. We should stay mindful of Who it is that we want to glorify in everything we say and do. This surely helped me a lot, constantly being mindful of my Saviour Jesus in all I do.
Therefore, let us make this a priority that when we are offended, we seek the Lord first before we respond.
Let us pray: Abba Father, I come to You by the blood of the Lamb because of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. I want to repent for where I have fallen into the trap of the enemy by lashing out against …………………………..(insert name), for allowing my unresolved pain to twist what was said or intended. Please forgive me for judging this person and for breaking down their character. I ask that every judgment against them will be broken in Jesus’ name and that every judgment that wants to come back to me will be broken off of my life in Jesus’ name. Holy Spirit, please help me to see immediately when the enemy is poking at my pain and lying to me. Please help me to see when he is trying to use me to do his bidding. I ask that you will give me the strength to shut my mouth, to walk away and to run to Jesus. Father, please deliver me from the pain that has been triggered and set me free from evil. Father, I want to glorify your name in everything I do. Please forgive me for everytime I have not walked worthy of the Lord. I love you Abba Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. Let Your kingdom come and Your will be done in my life in Jesus name I pray. Amen and amen.